Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
