One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
