Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
