I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
