Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
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