His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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