Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
