i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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