i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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