I hate all girls vehemently.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
