My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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