if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
