the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
