All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
