"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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