his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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