so that wasnt chicken after all
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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