My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
