i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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