In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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