its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
