She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
