Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
