he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
