Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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