Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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