ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
