When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
