How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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