I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
