So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
