We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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