I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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