please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
