Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
did i walk over a car last night?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Randomize
