I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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