Nicole vs. Life
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
