Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
