you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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