glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
