You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
