Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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