Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
