Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
