my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
