she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
