Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
