Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
did i walk over a car last night?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
