I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if i died would you start the facebook group?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
