NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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