I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
