Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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