We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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