We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
