giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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