why do cheetos always look like penises
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize