i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize