He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
