yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
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