If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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