so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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