no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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