A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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