the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
