I want to have your abortion
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
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