this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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