Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
