Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize