Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
