he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I didn't notice because vodka
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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