oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
