its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
