Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
