I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
