I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
