Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
