Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize